Just like no two relationships are exactly the same, no two people experience loss the same way. And that’s not only normal—it’s expected. Here are some reasons why…
4 Ways to Remember Dad on Father’s Day
If Father’s Day is a reminder of loss rather than a celebration, here are four things you could plan for June 16th.
Looking Back at Loss: The “Good” Side of Grief
Maybe we never get the answer for why they had to die, but we can create meaning out of our loss.
Grief Support: Paying it Forward
An important thing to remember when you’re supporting someone else experiencing grief is to not compare losses. Speak to the pain you see without judgment of the loss itself.
Missing the Old Me
You don’t just lose them, a part of you goes with them. And the deeper you loved someone, the larger the missing piece inside of you will be.
Secondary Losses
Secondary losses can be numerous and can make it feel like grief is piling up on you. This is the place where people, if they’re going to get stuck, usually get stuck
“Get Over It”
No one “gets over” grief, we just eventually figure out how make it part of who we are.
A Year-long Look at Healing
Happiness isn’t a spontaneous state of being, it’s a practice. And though it may have come easily in the past, if you’re now experiencing grief, you may find that for the first time you really have to work at getting to joy and happiness.
Normal Grief vs Depression
“Normal” is pretty much impossible to define in the context of grief, but professionals in bereavement education, coaching, and counseling have been trying for some time to figure out the difference between “normal” and “abnormal” grief.
Letting Toxic People Go
Suddenly the bad behavior you previously tolerated from a friend, significant-other, or family member becomes completely intolerable because you no longer have the energy to explain it away or keep up the illusion that it doesn’t bother you.
How Did They Die: Preparing for Questions After Loss
You have every right to say, “Thank you for your concern, but I’d rather not talk about it right now.” You also have the right to say you’re “fine” when some colleague you hardly know asks how you’re doing.
No One Supports Me: Grief and Compassion Fatigue
Compassion fatigue sets in when someone becomes indifferent to your suffering because of the frequency of your need for support. It’s crappy, but it’s true. It’s also human nature.
When Will I Feel Normal After Someone Dies?
There is no simple answer to this question, because the old version of “normal life” ceases to exist along with the person who was lost. To feel normal again, survivors have to develop and accept a new version of what normal means, which can take months or years.
Work-Grief Balance
You’re not going back to work the same, though most people will expect you to. If at all possible take it easy and do your best to set reasonable expectations for yourself and clearly communicate them to your colleagues.
The Politics of Their “Stuff”
Dealing with their “stuff” is one of the hardest things to face in the wake of loss. It’s also a harsh confrontation with the unnecessity of these items given the complete absence of the person to whom they belonged.
Go First, Say Their Name
With your grief, you’ve got enough of a burden and you shouldn’t have to be strapped with the additional responsibility of making it easier for others to interact with you, but if you can go first and offer this bit of grace to your friends and family, it can easily pay dividends in conversation that acknowledges your loved-one and your loss.
The Grim Reaper in the Room
Why don’t people talk about death? Why is open talk of death, or trying to support someone experiencing a significant loss feel so awkward?
Who Am I Without Them?
Instead of using SWOT for a project we’re applying it to your life after loss to get an idea of where you’re at, and if you’re up for it, where you want to go.
Surviving the “Firsts” After Loss
Their birthday, holidays, vacations, anniversaries, social gathering, all these events can be a challenge to face for the first time without the person with whom you usually shared them. Here are five simple tools that will help you prepare for some of your “firsts.”
7 Tricky Grief Myths
Here’s a heads up on seven myths of grief you may have been told are true, that simply are not.